Gym Ettiquette

Today we will be looking at some of the things that bother me in the gym.  There are things that certain people do at the gym that I find either amusing or annoying...and sometimes both.  We shall start with behaviors, then move on to apparel choices, finishing up with the gym itself.

I should start by saying that I take my exercising very seriously.  When I go to the gym, it's not to make friends or have a good time, it's to work out!  So the biggest pet peeve of mine is for people to needlessly tie up the equipment.
First are the meat-heads.  These guys usually wear clothing at least a size too small, and/or without sleeves.  They spend a lot of time talking to other meat-heads, thus tying up the equipment for other people.  They also cannot perform any type of exercise without doing any number of the following things: grunting extra loudly, dropping heavy weights from great heights so as to demonstrate their ability to lift said weights, or jerking things around in inappropriate fashion so as to be able to lift more weight, thus "impressing" anybody who may be watching them.
Then there are the texters.  These people spend more time on their phones than working out, which means they also tie up the equipment for inordinate amounts of time.
And finally, the best friends.  This group of at least three people spend about 3 minutes working out and the rest of the time standing around being in the way, while one of them sits on the equipment, ensuring that nobody else can use it.

Apparel choices are a particularly sticky subject because it is so subjective.  These are my personal feelings, and are bound to offend some people.  To those people I offer this bit of advice: If you don't like what I have to say...don't read it.  To the rest of you, here are some of my biggest sartorial gym annoyances.
First off, we'll look at something that applies throughout life, not just at the gym and regardless of gender, but is especially relevant when workout clothes are concerned: Dress for your body type.  If you are going to the gym because you need to loose 100 pounds, you probably shouldn't wear the clothes you're planning on wearing after you drop the weight...it's not appealing.
Next are those who seem to dress to impress...but get offended when they do.  I'm talking to you ladies out there who put everything on display, then get mad when people look.  If you are on the generous side of busty, wear a low-cut top, and then run on a treadmill...you're going to get gawked at.  I'm not saying it's right or fair, just that it's a fact.  The same goes for you bootylicious women who don't seem to own workout clothes not made of lycra.  But while we're being honest here, let's get serious: you didn't buy those outfits thinking that it would make you look smarter, did you?
This goes equally for our next contestant, the made-up mommas.  These ladies show up to the gym in full makeup, hair coifed perfectly, ready to get to it.  This isn't an annoyance to me so much as I just don't understand it.  Are you going to the gym to meet that special someone?  Is it really necessary to get all done up just to get sweaty?  As I said, I just don't understand this one.
Finally, just when the ladies thought they were going to get all the abuse; fellas, it's your turn!  If you are big and hairy, and perspire profusely when you exercise, please wear clothing that covers all parts of your body that may touch equipment.  I don't care how much disinfectant you use to wipe down the gear when you're done, seeing your hairy back-wings sliming up the pads right before I'm going to get on isn't a great image.  And I don't care how "ripped" you are...no guy should wear just spandex in public.  My only exception would be if you were doing some serious cycling.  Otherwise, walking around in just your "compression shorts" and a tank top is not acceptable.

Finally, the gym itself.  I know that everyone goes to the gym for their own reasons.  Some want to lose weight, others want to get stronger, while some are training for a specific sport.  Regardless of the reason, the gym is a place where people go to elevate their heart rate and get serious, so the music blaring through the loudspeakers should reflect that goal.  I don't have a particular genre in mind, but the music should be upbeat.  Hip-hop, rock, classic rock, all acceptable choices as long as it's up-tempo.  I was getting ready to start a set of bench presses last week when Simon & Garfunkel's "Sounds of Silence" came on!  REALLY???  That music doesn't inspire me to really push out that last rep...it makes me depressed!  And if there is a piece of equipment that is not functioning properly, please get it fixed faster than the second coming...otherwise what am I paying for?  There have been times that I have pointed out derelict equipment to gym personnel and seen it lay broken for a month or more.  If I knew that was going to be the case, I could've stayed at home with my own broken gym equipment.  I pay dues and maintenance fees to have access to well-maintained gym equipment, not just so I'll have a place to go hang out for an hour or so each day.

So in summation, I think there are some general rules of gym etiquette that should be adhered to:

1. Work out or get out of the way
2. Dress appropriately for your activity and body type, or expect a reaction in kind
3. The gym should play upbeat music at all times
4. Keep the equipment in good working order

I dont' think any of these are too extreme or unreasonable, and would make the gym a more pleasant place for all parties.  I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences.

Until next time,

Evan M. Taylor

Gun Rights (and wrongs)

Today we will be discussing the issue of firearms rights in the United States of America.
I am a gun enthusiast, and enjoy going to the range with friends and family, as well as the peace of mind that comes from knowing that I am able to protect my household should the need arise.  My wife, while less of an enthusiast, is no stranger to firearms and is quite comfortable and capable with them.
My issue stems not from the fact that I can protect my house, but the fact that in the state I currently reside (New Jersey) I can only protect my house.  NJ offers no form of carry, open or concealed, to the majority of it's citizenship.  To my knowledge, only the District of Columbia and New York are as restrictive as New Jersey when it comes to gun rights.  As anecdotal evidence, I give you the following story:
In the process of trying to purchase guns in New Jersey, there were several steps I had to take.  First I had to apply for a Firearms ID Card.  This would allow me to purchase rifles and shotguns, as well as ammunition.  I should clarify that without this card, you are not even allowed to be shown a gun in NJ.  I concurrently applied for two Pistol Purchase Permits.  This is a separate application (with it's own fee) that would allow me to purchase hand guns in this fascist regime...sorry...state.  I applied for two because the wait time for these forms to be processed was rumored to be in excess of two months, which turned out to be true, since I got mine back almost two months to the day after I applied.  I'm unsure what took so long, as I'm a military veteran with barely as much as a speeding ticket on my record, never been arrested, never lived out of the country, and always paid my taxes.  After receiving their gracious blessing to go forth and shoot things, I would be limited to purchasing one hand gun per 30 day period, for reasons that have yet to be sufficiently explained to me.  In the meantime, my father, who lives in Washington state, purchased two handguns, a rifle, and ordered a third handgun in the months that it took me to acquire permission to purchase anything!
I suppose I should be grateful that I'm even allowed to posses firearms in this day and age of fear-mongering, where guns are the enemy, not those who use them.  However, it seems silly to so closely limit the possession of firearms by your law-abiding citizenry, since they aren't usually the ones you need to worry about.  Do you really think that the gang bangers walking around the projects care that it's illegal to carry a gun around?  Do you suppose the home invader is worried that the gun he is carrying wasn't purchased with a "Pistol Purchase Permit"?  And finally, do you think the criminals will be more, or less likely to perpetrate holdups and other armed robbery-type crimes when they know almost for certain that the law-abiding citizen they are accosting does not have a means to defend themselves?  My guess is they feel pretty safe doing so in NJ.  In summation: I'm leaving New Jersey just as soon as I am reasonably able.
I leave you with this final thought: A wise man once said: "If you criminalize guns, only the criminals will have guns."
Until next time,
Evan